prose: eat my shorts!

(read like Regina George)
I wish I’d be more quick witted and laser-tounged. And a bit bitchy. Then I’d be like, so cool like J. Lo or something.

In pursuing this education I happen to watch a movie which brings me to the conclusion that ANY movie that includes cross-dressing or rich, spoiled Caucasian girl should be like, tremendously, funny. Like, totally.

Examples,
“Your mum is so stupid she went to Gucci to buy Fendi and stuff”

“Your mum is so old her breast milk is powdered”

"Your mum is so stupid she exercises to lose weight, when she can get lipo or something"

So I tried to like, sporadically formulate some original ones, and hopefully I get to use them like, some day:

(to an obese person)
“you’d better be covered in batter cause you’re so gonna be deep fat fried in hell”

(to a person with yellow teeth)
“Is that a canary in your mouth?”

(to Mel Gibson)
“You former male model”

(to reply to a girl with a cellulite-laden butt the size of Australia when she says ‘kiss my ass’)
“that is such a big area to cover”

(to an acne prone person)
“Pizza is not a face towel”

And the crème de la crème,
“Your mum shops at Kamdar”